


Stay

by princess_mouse



Category: Black Veil Brides
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends With Benefits, Implied Relationships, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 17:41:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15801435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princess_mouse/pseuds/princess_mouse
Summary: Tour is the only time they can be a couple.All Ashley wants at the end of tours is Andy to stay with him.





	Stay

_All along it was a fever,_   
_A cold sweat, hot-headed believer._   
_I threw my hands in the air, said, "Show me something."_   
_He said, "If you dare, come a little closer."_

Ashley couldn’t stop pacing. He couldn’t stand being behind locked doors knowing his bandmates had their ears plastered to the door eavesdropping. His hands fidgeted with his necklace, his hair, rubbed violently at his itchy eyes. He was ready to start screaming because he couldn’t figure out what was supposed to happen.

Sitting on the couch of the private dressing room was Andy. He watched as Ashley continued to melt down. They needed to talk, it seemed no matter how many times he asked if it was a good time it wasn’t. He waited until the last night of tour to finally corner Ashley only to regret his decision. Andy watched the way his friend moved and couldn’t stop staring.

The room seemed to be getting smaller and it was hard to breathe. Ashley felt like he was suffocating without even realizing he was having a panic attack. He was unaware that he was coming undone because he was locked in that damn dressing room with the one person he knew he couldn’t keep. He wanted Andy to hug him and wipe away the tears. He wanted to know they would be together after tour ended. A sharp spasmatic pain in his chest brought him back to reality. Ashley’s whole being hurt as he tried calm himself down and stop fidgeting.

_Round and around and around and around we go._   
_Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know._

“Ash, you know we need to talk about us,” Andy finally said. He looked up only to downcast his eyes instantly. He couldn’t look at Ashley’s bloodshot eyes or his pouty lips that quivered.

Ashley froze. The word ‘us’ was one that got used on tour but when it was over it became him…alone. Singular, lacking his plural. Missing the piece that made him whole. He felt spiteful knowing that he returned home to no one while Andy returned home to someone. 

“Can we make our last night together count?” Andy begged. He looked back up then offered his hand palm up. He knew Ashley couldn’t resist looking at him, he was always staring. The look of someone who was so in love while being so broken hearted. “Common,” he whispered.

“Promise to stay?” Ashley asked dumbly. He knew he would wake up to his bunk being empty and Andy walking off the bus into the arms of someone else. He knew he would be alone. All he wanted was Andy to stay…

_Not really sure how to feel about it,_  
 _Something in the way you move,_  
 _Makes me feel like I can't live without you._  
 _It takes me all the way,_  
 _I want you to stay_.

Ashley lay in his bunk staring up at the ceiling. Tears poured down his cheeks when he woke up alone. He felt Andy shuffling his way out of the bunk and kissing him on the forehead. He heard him whisper his undying love only to leave.

He fell in love with Andy’s voice.

Then it was his blue eyes and the way that he chewed at his lip ring. The haphazard way he performed on stage and the passion he emitted through his music. He was in love with Andy’s complaining, childish nature, and intelligence.

Ashley never intended to fall, he didn’t believe in sleeping with band members. It was a dangerous game the first time they were alone. He couldn’t remember who leaned in first but when they kissed it was bound to ruin them. There was no substitute for the addiction, he was hooked with one kiss.

Every tour they chased each other and when tour ended Ashley left broken.

There were sleepless nights, pleading texts, anger, depression, and accepting that he was not Andy’s first choice. He knew respectfully it wasn’t fair to ask his friend to come over with the intentions of acting out their fantasies. Ashley got drunk and told Andy all he wanted was for him to stay.

Andy got drunk and texted him that he would if he could.

Ashley rolled onto his side and hugged his blankets close as he cried himself to sleep. In the morning they would just be Andy and Ashley, bandmates and friends.

_It's not much of a life you're living,_   
_It's not just something you take it's given._

Andy lay in his bunk below Ashley’s and listened to him cry.

He wished he could stay. Every time he was asked he wanted to say he would this time.

It never got easier. Every tour made him realize he was caught between what he wanted and what he needed. He didn’t like that he was laying in his bunk alone while Ashley cried. He continued to stare at the ceiling of his bunk as he tried to find the strength to do or say something that would make this better.

All he did was break his promises.

_Round and around and around and around we go._   
_Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know._

He promised Ashley tours.

He promised that he didn’t cheat.

He promised that he would stay.

He promised not to break Ashley’s heart only to do it multiple times.

_Not really sure how to feel about it,_   
_Something in the way you move,_   
_Makes me feel like I can't live without you._   
_It takes me all the way,_   
_I want you to stay._

He always thought about Ashley’s eyes first.

He loved tracing his fingers along the lines of Ashley’s star tattoos and the sinfully delicious way that the smaller man’s hips moved on and off stage. Andy adored the shy smiles reserved for him and the way that he was asked to stay.

No one he dated compared to Ashley.

Andy counted down the days until tour and tried his best not to hurt his friend further. He could always recall the sad undertones when they parted. There were days they fought over Andy’s girlfriend and how their hook up needed to end. Ashley craved validation and commitment, he was tired of being a secret. Andy would hug him tight and wipe away the tears. He kissed away Ashley’s pain and told him that he loved him because he did.

All he needed to do was stay…

_Ooh, ooh, ooh, the reason I hold on,_   
_Ooh, ooh, ooh, 'cause I need this hole gone._   
_Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving._   
_'Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving._

Ashley couldn’t hold back his sobs. His heart ached, he felt more broken than he ever had on a tour. He wanted to let go and move on with his life. He longed for the pain to end.

Beneath him, Andy’s own chest ached. He never heard Ashley cry in this way and something about it didn’t sit right with him. He could hardly lay there and listen to it. If he was anyone else with a friend with benefits, he might put his headphones in and drown out the noise. Andy wasn’t that type of person though, he was the type who found himself rolling out of his bunk.

Andy awkwardly found himself crawling back into Ashley’s bunk. He expected to be told off only to realize he was welcomed. Even in his emotionally fragile state Ashley hugged Andy if only for a few more hours. It was all overwhelming for the younger man, he didn’t understand why he was being accepted back after he left.

“I’m sorry,” Ashley choked out.

The younger man rubbed his lover’s back affectionately. He could visualize each position of Ashley’s star tattoos as he traced his fingers along the soft skin he loved so much. There were a million stars in the sky but those star tattoos were his favorite.

“Ashes, I’m the one who’s sorry,” Andy said. He kissed Ashley’s chapped lips that quivered beneath his. He rest his forehead against his partner’s to enjoy the fact that he was back in bed with him. It somehow felt like the place he needed to be.

Ashley knew in the morning the pain in his chest would return. A dull pain attacked him as he willingly snuggled against Andy for the last few hours he would probably get for another year. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. No matter how many times he asked for Andy to stay, he never did.

He probably never would.

_Not really sure how to feel about it,_   
_Something in the way you move,_   
_Makes me feel like I can't live without you._   
_It takes me all the way,_   
_I want you to stay, stay._

The pain in Ashley’s chest intensified when he woke up alone. He crawled out of his bunk to find Andy packing the last of his belongings. It was like every other tour, they would say goodbye and go their separate ways. Ashley would be heartbroken for a month or two then just when he got back to normal they would have to see each other.

Andy could tell a familiar pair of eyes were staring at him. He threw his last winkled shirt into his backpack before he looked up. “You should probably start packing,” he said. He wanted a casual start to the morning. He planned to avoid fighting if it was possible.

“You go ahead,” Ashley said softly. He blinked excessively to prevent his tears from pouring down his cheeks. He didn’t want Andy to go, he wasn’t ready for tour to be done, or any part of their relationship to be over. Andy was working on his solo album which meant he would be gone for a longer period. He wanted to say more only to find himself tongue tied. His words were lost to him as he stood there staring back at Andy.

He walked down the narrow aisle towards Ashley. Andy stopped once he was in front of the smaller man. He reached out to cup Ashley’s face in his hands before he leaned down and lightly kissed his lover. He pulled away for a second. “I want to stay,” he said against Ashley’s lips.

“She’s waiting for you,” Ashley said. He didn’t want to be the reason Andy got dumped. He didn’t want to break up a couple because he wanted someone he couldn’t have.

Andy pecked another kiss to Ashley’s lips. “You’re waiting for me too,” he countered. He tucked a piece of Ashley’s long hair behind his ear and started to smooth out the knotted mess. There was never a girl who compared to the beauty and connection he felt with Ashley. “I want to stay, Ashley,” he repeated.

“When I walk off this bus how do I know you will?” Ashley asked. He didn’t want to doubt Andy. He just knew better than to get his hopes up.

“I don’t have a home to return too and I kind of told social media that I adore you,” Andy chuckled.

Ashley’s eyes widened. All the tears that had been threatening to pour down his cheeks finally seized up. A smile broke out across his face and his cheeks heated up with a blush. “You did what?” he asked meekly.

“You’ll stay right?” Andy said desperately. He could tell Ashley was surprised since his expression appeared to be very happy though he didn’t want to assume anything. They would have a lot to work on as a couple. Hell, Andy would need to ask Ashley to be his.

“You don’t need to ask me that,” Ashley replied. He melted into Andy’s touch and closed his eyes for a moment as he let all his emotions wash over him. He sensed this was the start of something he longed for and he opened his eyes to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Ashley looked into the deep blue eyes he fell in love with and knew it was real.

_I want you to stay._

**Author's Note:**

> Here is a sad little ballad idea I wrote while I flew back to Finland.  
> I took some time off writing to just focus and get my own life back together. Figured Ashley and Andy could have a happy ending among all the sadness.  
> Story inspired by Stay by Rihanna. This damn song was so requested at my last gig, I've had it in my head for days!


End file.
